Bride and Groom

The Gift of Sexuality

posted in: Inspiration | 2

Bride and GroomTIME magazine reported this week that 19% of women who attend college today will be sexually assaulted during their time at university.  That is almost 1 out of every 5.  As the father of 3 daughters, I don’t like those odds.  But, even more than that, I don’t like what that says about what we as a culture are teaching our young people about sex and relationships.

The fact is, America has a confusing relationship with sex.  On the one hand, we want to treat it as a taboo that cannot be mentioned in polite company or spoken about openly without need for a censor’s review.  We pride ourselves on our family values when it comes to fining news anchors for swearing on live TV or music stars for having wardrobe malfunctions during the Super Bowl on national television.  On the other hand, we want to illicitly, privately, and deniably, but more and more explicitly, see it and experience it in the media, television, books, movies, and more.  As just one example, E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey not only made all of the bestseller lists as a book, but will also be released as a movie for valentine’s day next year.

At the root of repression is oppression.  Fundamentally at some level we as a civilization are striving to break free of arbitrary and oppressive social norms and open the door to define and rejoice in our sexuality in a healthy, happy, lasting, and meaningful way.  America is in desperate need of getting over its repressed puritanical roots where sex was seen as dirty, wrong, evil, and worse.  Far from equating sexuality with original sin, America is looking for a new sexual revolution, but not like the one we are experiencing now.  The goal for believers is more than our current pursuit of seeing more nudity in the media and glorifying every conceivable outlet of sexual energy that presents itself in whatever permutation or expression.  America needs a new revolution of commitment, passion, purpose, love, intimacy, delight, connection, rejoicing, and healthy monogamous sex.

It’s time to realize that sex, like your body, was created beautiful, erudite, exciting, fulfilling, and joyful as a gift from your creator, intended on purpose for a purpose.  God made you attractive, pleasurable, and desirable at every level from your spirit to your mind and body and then God told you to go and have sex!

“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” – Genesis 1 (NIV)

The first command of our creator after He designed us male and female was to go out there and get it on.  It was God’s explicit instruction, not some hidden agenda or implied desire.  God didn’t just hope that we would figure it out or leave it to our imaginations to make it up.  God said, “Be fruitful and multiply” and not just a little bit, but “fill the earth and subdue it”.  We were designed beautiful.  We were built for pleasure.  We were purposefully created to begin, receive, and support life — and enjoy it.

In fact, this was so central to our purpose as human beings that when Jesus quotes the book of Genesis on this point He adds a bit of emphasis just to make sure we catch His meaning,

“‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” – Mark 10 (NLT)

Don’t let anyone get in the way of your committed, monogamous, dedicated, persistent, passionate, intimate, personal, individual, purposeful, meaningful, mutual, loving, fulfilling, delightful, joyful, and sexy connection and relationship on every level from the spirit to the body with your one and only spouse.

Sex is core to your purpose as a human being — core to your identity and your expression of self, core to your experience of life and your mission as a believer.  Far from being dirty, wrong, evil, and worse — sexuality is a gift.  A gift with the power of healing, connection, restoration, strength, intimacy, love, and purpose built within it.

But like every gift from your creator, you can choose to use it for good or for evil.  For example, God gave you the ability to eat and enjoy food to sustain life, but you could choose (or someone could mislead you, abuse you, or convince you) to disconnect this gift from its life giving purpose and instead drive yourself into any number of dysfunctional or enslaving relationships with food.  God intends every gift for blessing, and blessing abundantly.  So, if your experience of one of God’s gifts is dysfunctional, unhealthy, abusive, or wrong it’s time to take a step back and a reset your sights on the blessings of the gifts of God.

Maybe you have been convinced through life experience that sex is nothing more than physical gratification of an animal instinct and hormonal drive.  Maybe sex has more to do with power than love for you.  Maybe you have been abused or have abused others and can’t get beyond the dark experiences of sexuality that haunt you.  Wherever you are coming from, and whatever you have done or has been done to you, God has a plan to restore you, heal you, and bring your sexuality back into the light of the intimacy, joy, fulfillment, safety, and deeply rooted connection of a committed and permanent relationship.

So many sexual experiences are negative out of ignorance, desperation, and/or self-gratifying malevolent intent that as a civilization we have accepted a baseline goal of supporting every expression of sexuality between consenting adults as possibly okay.  The problem is, this approach betrays those who take it seriously and so meander into situations that they will carry with them for years.  The fact is, a lot of sex is terrible!  If you don’t have a negative experience with sex yourself, you definitely have people in your life who have been abused, raped, controlled, or more in their sex lives.  Sex is not the blessing or the gift that God designed it to be for FAR too many people today.  And at the root of this dysfunction is the fact that historically (and even currently in many places) religion and the faithful have denigrated, condemned, and made taboo not just sex itself, but also the very discussion that would drive healthy sexual education and the spreading of the good news about intimate, connected, fulfilling, monogamous sex like God has planned for every person.

Let’s get one thing straight, sex is not the original sin.

God didn’t create us and then command us to sin.

God created us to be fruitful, to multiply, and to fill the earth and command it.

Sex was designed to empower us, heal us, restore us, maintain us, sustain us, and provide the added benefit of procreating future generations who could also then rejoice in the gift of sexuality as well.

So, if you find yourself unfulfilled, disconnected, out of love, self-centered, driven, enslaved, abused, or worse today, know this — God has a plan to bless you, restore you, provide for you, and bring you into a new season of healthy, wholesome, intimate, fulfilling, and healing sexuality.

No matter who you are, where you are, or what your experience has been — God has the ability to reach you, to bless you, and to bring about a new sexual revolution in your life so that you can experience everything that God has in store for you in a healthy, lasting, and eternal expression of your life in your sexuality.  This is the gift of sexuality.  And this is a key element of the life that God has in store for you.

Far from faith being a call to give up something when it comes to sex, a strong relationship with God will lead you into a whole new level of intimacy, love, and sexuality the likes of which you have never seen or experienced before.  God designed your body.  God designed your spirit.  God knows the system, understands everything involved.  And when you start pursuing God’s plan for your life, you are going to discover that sex like God designed it, is going to be the best sex of your life.

Sex is more than the wild, messy, confusing, and illusive pursuit of gratification and connection that is showing up more and more in books, movies, music, and television shows.  And while it is good that we as a culture are letting go of the shame and guilt of previous generations when it comes to sex, it is even better if we take the next step beyond this basic baseline of sexual freedom and step into the vision for a future when sexuality can realize its place as the gift that God wanted so much to give to each one of us.

You have such a great capacity to love and be loved and to express and experience this at every level from your spirit to your body.

Sexuality is an intimate and key piece of your identity and design as a human being.

It’s time to let go of the darkness, obscurity, and taboo and choose to rejoice in the passionate, purposeful, loving, mutual, and lasting intimacy of a deeply committed life-long sexuality like you were designed to experience and enjoy.

You are beautiful.  You are attractive.  You are pleasurable.  You were built for joy.  You were designed for fun.  You were created to love and be loved.  You are loved.

So, let’s take the rudiments of the current sexual revolution.  Let’s not shy away or fall back.  Let’s take this new found sexual freedom and convert it into a new revolution of healthy, healing, restoring, lasting, and committed sexuality so that no more will 1 in 5 women on college campuses today have to walk in fear of that negative experience which they will carry with them for years.

God’s plan is perfect and it’s for you.

“‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” – Mark 10 (NLT)

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2 Responses

  1. clark echols

    And God’s plan for men is to be an ally in the prevention of violence. We have mensactionnetwork.com in Ohio. Look for support near you!

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